The Prayer of a Single Mom

Dear Lord,
Thank you for getting us both through another day in one piece. Thank you for letting me watch him grow and change and develop for another day.

Thank you for giving him to me. His facial expressions make me laugh, every one of them I've seen in the mirror. His big blue eyes melt my heart. And that grin, well that grin reminds me of his dad.

Please give me the enthusiasm to play with him and make him laugh. Give me the patience to keep my cool when the tantrums are brewing. Give me the strength to get my butt out of bed if he wakes at 3 am again. Fill my heart with kindness, understanding and wonder so that I might fill his world with all of these things.

And Lord... If you could fill my bank account too, that'd be swell.

Please forgive me for the ways I screw up, the sharp tone I used when I caught him dumping a trash can, the messy kitchen sink I swore I'd clean last night, the day with too much fruit and not enough veggie for the boy who randomly decided not eat. I know I can't be perfect Lord, not a perfect mother, Christian, teacher, or any of the other hats I wear. But I want to be the best version of me I can be and I could use some help.

When I feel like I'm inadequate, like I'm failing, like it's too hard and I don't have enough arms, sleep, hours in the day, money, support, free time, breastmilk, patience, or hope, remind me that I do. I have everything we need, and You are watching over us as well.

I guess what it comes down to Lord, is this... Let me be enough for him. When he looks back at his life, let it be only fond memories and happiness that overcomes him. Please don't let him feel

like he's missing out because his dad wasn't a part of our family. If I need to get better at fishing, learn to throw a football, fart on purpose, or attempt to spit louggies I will. But I know that's not all there is to being a man, that's just a few small silly bits. Help me to show this sweet boy what it means to be not only a man, but a good man of Christ.

And Lord, if there's someone out there who could love my kid as his own, and maybe love me too... Well I think he got lost. Point him in our direction okay?

No matter what happens I know how blessed we are. When I talk to my son about who You are, I always tell him about Your love, Your Son, how You made us, and many other things. I tell him that these blessings are reasons why we love and worship You. But the thing I tell him the most is, "We love Him son, because He let me have you."

Thanks for my little man,
Your daughter,
Rachel.